Parkersburg HDJ Review: Bureau of Fiscal Service Employee Cafeteria (aka "The Hole")

The Bureau of Fiscal Service Employee Cafeteria (The Hole)

The Bureau of the Public Debt first identified Parkersburg, WV, as its emergency relocation site in the early 1950s, during the Cold War era. The location was outside the blast radius of a potential nuclear attack on Washington, DC and the relocation made certain that the creditors of the United States federal government would be paid in the event that DC was turned into a parking lot by the Russians.  A 2012 merger of the Bureau of Public Debt and the Financial Management Service created the Federal Bureau of Fiscal Services, which handles the government’s accounting payment system and public debt. The bureau has been a large employer in Wood County for decades. Until, of course, Elon Musk came on the scene a few weeks ago cutting hundreds of jobs in one fell swoop. 

The reorganization brought with it a downsizing of the agency's employee cafeteria (nicknamed "The Hole" by longtime staffers), and the menu has been trimmed as well. Gone from its offerings are old favorites like Lettuce Wraps, Silver Dollar Pancakes, and Cheddar Dough Pizza. The new menu offers a smaller variety of ready-made pasta salads and curries, while one local favorite has been saved, sort of, it has been given a new name.

The Hole in its heyday.

The item, of course, is long-time head cook April Forst's famous West Virginia Hot Dogs. A fan favorite, the hot dogs at The Hole featured Nathan's Famous weenies on locally made Flowers bun, topped with April's special chili sauce and her fresh-daily coleslaw. On a past visit we awarded this hot dog a 4 1/2 Weenie rating, and gave it high marks for the way the chili and slaw worked together. We wrote "in a town with no shortage of good hot dog joints, the government-subsidized one at the federal workplace is no second-choice." 

In its new incarnation, it has been renamed "BFS HOT DOGE," but April says it is still the same basic sandwich, just made with less expensive ingredients. "We're proud to support the administration's goals of reducing the cost of government," she told a local reporter, "and by using boerewors [a South African sausage now preferred by the Department of Government Efficiency]  instead of all-beef Nathan's Famous, we are able to take a large bite out of the cost."

Other than the weenie, the other ingredients remain unchanged from April's original recipe, at least for now, but that will have to change in 2028 when new legislation recently signed into law by West Virginia Governor Patrick Morrisey takes effect. "They are banning Yellow Dye #5, which is in in our favorite mustard, and Red Dye #40 that is in the tomato paste we use in our sauce." 

April also said banned Red Dye #3 will be a concern because some people ask for ketchup on their hot dog, and natural ketchup that doesn't use the coloring costs quite a bit more than the regular stuff. "I guess that's a bit of a governmental contradiction we'll have to work through, because DOGE isn't going to want us to spend more just to be in compliance with the law," she predicted.

Our HOT DOGE looked thrown together without much care.

The BFS HOT DOGE, as noted above, features a "multi-meat" boerwors sausage. A little chewier than a typical American weenie, but tastes similar to products offered by Armour or Oscar Mayer. The bun was the same as before, as was the chili (er, we mean sauce, because Parkersburg) and slaw. There didn't seem to be as much care as we remembered in the way the hot dog was put together, probably due to the shorthanded staff that seemed a little overwhelmed serving even the few remaining employees in line that day. The overall taste was OK, but the chewiness of the weenie caused us to downgrade the rating by 40% to 2.7 Weenies. How's that for efficiency?

The Hole is open to the public, but only if you are accompanied by a federal employee. So if you know someone who currently works there, invite yourself to lunch with them. But you might want to hurry. 

In fact, today, April 1, would be a great day to check it out. 

Gauley Bridge HDJ Review: Two Broke Sisters

We've been passing by this little food trailer for months and noticed that it recently moved from the parking lot of a nearly-abandoned shopping center to a more visible location alongside a historic building that used to be the Gauley Bridge train station. Our attention was first drawn to the hand-lettered sign boasting "WV Hot Dogs" on the side of the trailer, and later we became more attentive because the obvious commitment they had of maintaining open hours in spite of bad weather. We decided today that it was time to give them a try.

When we walked up to the ordering window, our first question as always was "what is everything?" But before we heard the answer, we saw it in the form of a printout of the West Virginia Hot Dog Blog's "Anatomy of a WV Hot Dog" graphic that clearly explains it. Chili, slaw, mustard and onions, just as God intended it.

It only took a few moments to get our hot dog and we were well pleased to see it wrapped up in foil which is usually a good sign of quality. Opening up the wrapping we were treated to that amazing aroma that tells the story of a chili that was prepared with care. Indeed this chili is as good as any you will find, and the slaw was obviously prepared to complement the chili. You know it's great chili and slaw when it is applied sparingly and still has that great flavor and presence. The onions were chopped a little larger than we like, but they weren't too strong so it didn't matter much. The weenie was adequate.

But the bun. We need to talk about the bun. It was big and soft but not steamed. Now a food trailer has limited ability to have all of the necessary equipment, we understand that, and we could forgive the non-steamed bun except for the fact that it was cold to the touch. Hot dogs are supposed to be hot, it's right there in the name! 

Of course, it was in the upper 40s when were were there so it's eminently explainable why the buns were cold so we're not going to ding them too hard. And the owner told us that she plans to add a steamer to the trailer soon, so maybe soon this problem will be rectified. 

In spite of the cold bun, this is a great hot dog. We're going to give it a Four Weenie rating and hope to get back to re-review it once that steamer is running.

We also want to highlight one other thing about Two Broke Sisters: The owner told us that the reason she started selling hot dogs in Gauley Bridge was because there was nowhere else to get a decent hot dog in the area. That is the kind of entrepreneurial spirit we need more of in West Virginia. 

You can find Two Broke Sisters right beside of US Route 60 in Gauley Bridge. They are open most weekdays and Saturdays from 10:00 till 4:00. 

Logan HDJ review: Janet's Park & Eat

We've been trying to get to this place for literally years. First it was a matter of never being in Logan on days it was open, then it up and closed. We thought it was gone forever, but started getting a lot of comments that claimed it was back open and still serving hot dogs that were as good as Morrison's or Parkway. Some folks said they were superior. Finally we received a private message from the new owner of the restaurant who said they bought the place in 2023 and had been running it themselves since August. 

Now if you look for them on Facebook, be warned that the old Janet's Park & Eat page still exists, but the new one is called "Janet's LLC" and if you are looking for the place on Google Maps, you need to search for Janet's LLC. 

The restaurant is located in a strange part of Logan that is hard to get to if you aren't familiar with it. It is located on Mud Fork Road near the intersection with Enterprise Drive, if that helps.

Janet's is an unassuming little place that serves a full menu of classic country cooking items. Service couldn't be more friendly and food comes out quick. We of course got hot dogs and couldn't pass up the chance to try their house-made onion rings. The onion rings were as good as any we've ever had anywhere. But the hot dogs, well, they didn't live up to the hype. Here's the breakdown:

The bun was fresh and soft, and if it was not steamed it didn't need to be. The large caliber weenie didn't taste like the best quality, but that's never a problem if the toppings work. But they kinda didn't. The chili and slaw generously applied and the slaw was creamy, maybe even a bit too creamy. It lacked much flavor. The chili was sweet and flowed nicely, more like a sauce than chili. The sweet chili and bland slaw had no synergy, and even though they were served in a large quantity,  the hot dog was somewhat unsatisfying. 

We have no way of knowing whether this most recent incarnation of Janet's is as good as its former self, but we were kind of disappointed after hearing so many good things about their hot dogs for so many years. It was, overall a decent hot dog. in many towns it might be the best but in Logan, with Morrison's and Parkway just a short drive away, it's a distant third. 4 Weenies.

 

Mount Hope HDJ Review: Eating With Sinners and Tax Collectors at The Table

The Table is easy to find in downtown Mount Hope

 Full disclosure: We love this charming little place in downtown Mount Hope and have had many delightful lunches there. With some terrific sandwich meats and salads, it is an oasis in the food desert of Mount Hope. They also have a small selection of fresh and delicious baked goods, perfect for an after-lunch treat. The staff has been ever-so-friendly and service has always been fast and efficient.

On our most recent visit, however, they were offering a hot dog special that we couldn't pass up, although now we kinda wish we had. 

"Why does your teacher eat with sinners and tax collectors?"

With expectations high from our prior experiences, our first disappointments came rapid-fire when we saw the New England Style Split Top Lobster Roll buns and slaw served on the side. Then we noticed that bun had separated on the bottom and the weenie had already fallen through the crack and was resting on the paper-lined tray.  

After we applied our coleslaw properly to its proper place on the top, then came the difficult task of trying to pick the thing up and taking a bite without having a lap full of deconstructed hot dog. Before long we were forced to use a fork, which is the world of hot dog eating is like -- well, having to use a fork! Not at all a satisfying experience.

Once we were able to get a taste of the elements, we found that they were decent. The slaw was more than decent, it was actually very good. The chili was lackluster and the weenie was not very good at all, overcooked and kind foreign-looking like something you'd find in Chicago. That bun, though. Nah. Don't try to be so fancy. 

The bun wasn't up to the task.

Overall we're going to have to give The Table a low 1.5 Weenie rating, and it pains us to do so since we like the place so much. Our recommendation is to stick with the regular menu. 

We'll be back for one of your excellent sandwiches, but not for hot dogs.