Parkersburg HDJ Review: Bureau of Fiscal Service Employee Cafeteria (aka "The Hole")

The Bureau of Fiscal Service Employee Cafeteria (The Hole)

The Bureau of the Public Debt first identified Parkersburg, WV, as its emergency relocation site in the early 1950s, during the Cold War era. The location was outside the blast radius of a potential nuclear attack on Washington, DC and the relocation made certain that the creditors of the United States federal government would be paid in the event that DC was turned into a parking lot by the Russians.  A 2012 merger of the Bureau of Public Debt and the Financial Management Service created the Federal Bureau of Fiscal Services, which handles the government’s accounting payment system and public debt. The bureau has been a large employer in Wood County for decades. Until, of course, Elon Musk came on the scene a few weeks ago cutting hundreds of jobs in one fell swoop. 

The reorganization brought with it a downsizing of the agency's employee cafeteria (nicknamed "The Hole" by longtime staffers), and the menu has been trimmed as well. Gone from its offerings are old favorites like Lettuce Wraps, Silver Dollar Pancakes, and Cheddar Dough Pizza. The new menu offers a smaller variety of ready-made pasta salads and curries, while one local favorite has been saved, sort of, it has been given a new name.

The Hole in its heyday.

The item, of course, is long-time head cook April Forst's famous West Virginia Hot Dogs. A fan favorite, the hot dogs at The Hole featured Nathan's Famous weenies on locally made Flowers bun, topped with April's special chili sauce and her fresh-daily coleslaw. On a past visit we awarded this hot dog a 4 1/2 Weenie rating, and gave it high marks for the way the chili and slaw worked together. We wrote "in a town with no shortage of good hot dog joints, the government-subsidized one at the federal workplace is no second-choice." 

In its new incarnation, it has been renamed "BFS HOT DOGE," but April says it is still the same basic sandwich, just made with less expensive ingredients. "We're proud to support the administration's goals of reducing the cost of government," she told a local reporter, "and by using boerewors [a South African sausage now preferred by the Department of Government Efficiency]  instead of all-beef Nathan's Famous, we are able to take a large bite out of the cost."

Other than the weenie, the other ingredients remain unchanged from April's original recipe, at least for now, but that will have to change in 2028 when new legislation recently signed into law by West Virginia Governor Patrick Morrisey takes effect. "They are banning Yellow Dye #5, which is in in our favorite mustard, and Red Dye #40 that is in the tomato paste we use in our sauce." 

April also said banned Red Dye #3 will be a concern because some people ask for ketchup on their hot dog, and natural ketchup that doesn't use the coloring costs quite a bit more than the regular stuff. "I guess that's a bit of a governmental contradiction we'll have to work through, because DOGE isn't going to want us to spend more just to be in compliance with the law," she predicted.

Our HOT DOGE looked thrown together without much care.

The BFS HOT DOGE, as noted above, features a "multi-meat" boerwors sausage. A little chewier than a typical American weenie, but tastes similar to products offered by Armour or Oscar Mayer. The bun was the same as before, as was the chili (er, we mean sauce, because Parkersburg) and slaw. There didn't seem to be as much care as we remembered in the way the hot dog was put together, probably due to the shorthanded staff that seemed a little overwhelmed serving even the few remaining employees in line that day. The overall taste was OK, but the chewiness of the weenie caused us to downgrade the rating by 40% to 2.7 Weenies. How's that for efficiency?

The Hole is open to the public, but only if you are accompanied by a federal employee. So if you know someone who currently works there, invite yourself to lunch with them. But you might want to hurry. 

In fact, today, April 1, would be a great day to check it out. 

Gauley Bridge HDJ Review: Two Broke Sisters

We've been passing by this little food trailer for months and noticed that it recently moved from the parking lot of a nearly-abandoned shopping center to a more visible location alongside a historic building that used to be the Gauley Bridge train station. Our attention was first drawn to the hand-lettered sign boasting "WV Hot Dogs" on the side of the trailer, and later we became more attentive because the obvious commitment they had of maintaining open hours in spite of bad weather. We decided today that it was time to give them a try.

When we walked up to the ordering window, our first question as always was "what is everything?" But before we heard the answer, we saw it in the form of a printout of the West Virginia Hot Dog Blog's "Anatomy of a WV Hot Dog" graphic that clearly explains it. Chili, slaw, mustard and onions, just as God intended it.

It only took a few moments to get our hot dog and we were well pleased to see it wrapped up in foil which is usually a good sign of quality. Opening up the wrapping we were treated to that amazing aroma that tells the story of a chili that was prepared with care. Indeed this chili is as good as any you will find, and the slaw was obviously prepared to complement the chili. You know it's great chili and slaw when it is applied sparingly and still has that great flavor and presence. The onions were chopped a little larger than we like, but they weren't too strong so it didn't matter much. The weenie was adequate.

But the bun. We need to talk about the bun. It was big and soft but not steamed. Now a food trailer has limited ability to have all of the necessary equipment, we understand that, and we could forgive the non-steamed bun except for the fact that it was cold to the touch. Hot dogs are supposed to be hot, it's right there in the name! 

Of course, it was in the upper 40s when were were there so it's eminently explainable why the buns were cold so we're not going to ding them too hard. And the owner told us that she plans to add a steamer to the trailer soon, so maybe soon this problem will be rectified. 

In spite of the cold bun, this is a great hot dog. We're going to give it a Four Weenie rating and hope to get back to re-review it once that steamer is running.

We also want to highlight one other thing about Two Broke Sisters: The owner told us that the reason she started selling hot dogs in Gauley Bridge was because there was nowhere else to get a decent hot dog in the area. That is the kind of entrepreneurial spirit we need more of in West Virginia. 

You can find Two Broke Sisters right beside of US Route 60 in Gauley Bridge. They are open most weekdays and Saturdays from 10:00 till 4:00. 

Logan HDJ review: Janet's Park & Eat

We've been trying to get to this place for literally years. First it was a matter of never being in Logan on days it was open, then it up and closed. We thought it was gone forever, but started getting a lot of comments that claimed it was back open and still serving hot dogs that were as good as Morrison's or Parkway. Some folks said they were superior. Finally we received a private message from the new owner of the restaurant who said they bought the place in 2023 and had been running it themselves since August. 

Now if you look for them on Facebook, be warned that the old Janet's Park & Eat page still exists, but the new one is called "Janet's LLC" and if you are looking for the place on Google Maps, you need to search for Janet's LLC. 

The restaurant is located in a strange part of Logan that is hard to get to if you aren't familiar with it. It is located on Mud Fork Road near the intersection with Enterprise Drive, if that helps.

Janet's is an unassuming little place that serves a full menu of classic country cooking items. Service couldn't be more friendly and food comes out quick. We of course got hot dogs and couldn't pass up the chance to try their house-made onion rings. The onion rings were as good as any we've ever had anywhere. But the hot dogs, well, they didn't live up to the hype. Here's the breakdown:

The bun was fresh and soft, and if it was not steamed it didn't need to be. The large caliber weenie didn't taste like the best quality, but that's never a problem if the toppings work. But they kinda didn't. The chili and slaw generously applied and the slaw was creamy, maybe even a bit too creamy. It lacked much flavor. The chili was sweet and flowed nicely, more like a sauce than chili. The sweet chili and bland slaw had no synergy, and even though they were served in a large quantity,  the hot dog was somewhat unsatisfying. 

We have no way of knowing whether this most recent incarnation of Janet's is as good as its former self, but we were kind of disappointed after hearing so many good things about their hot dogs for so many years. It was, overall a decent hot dog. in many towns it might be the best but in Logan, with Morrison's and Parkway just a short drive away, it's a distant third. 4 Weenies.

 

Mount Hope HDJ Review: Eating With Sinners and Tax Collectors at The Table

The Table is easy to find in downtown Mount Hope

 Full disclosure: We love this charming little place in downtown Mount Hope and have had many delightful lunches there. With some terrific sandwich meats and salads, it is an oasis in the food desert of Mount Hope. They also have a small selection of fresh and delicious baked goods, perfect for an after-lunch treat. The staff has been ever-so-friendly and service has always been fast and efficient.

On our most recent visit, however, they were offering a hot dog special that we couldn't pass up, although now we kinda wish we had. 

"Why does your teacher eat with sinners and tax collectors?"

With expectations high from our prior experiences, our first disappointments came rapid-fire when we saw the New England Style Split Top Lobster Roll buns and slaw served on the side. Then we noticed that bun had separated on the bottom and the weenie had already fallen through the crack and was resting on the paper-lined tray.  

After we applied our coleslaw properly to its proper place on the top, then came the difficult task of trying to pick the thing up and taking a bite without having a lap full of deconstructed hot dog. Before long we were forced to use a fork, which is the world of hot dog eating is like -- well, having to use a fork! Not at all a satisfying experience.

Once we were able to get a taste of the elements, we found that they were decent. The slaw was more than decent, it was actually very good. The chili was lackluster and the weenie was not very good at all, overcooked and kind foreign-looking like something you'd find in Chicago. That bun, though. Nah. Don't try to be so fancy. 

The bun wasn't up to the task.

Overall we're going to have to give The Table a low 1.5 Weenie rating, and it pains us to do so since we like the place so much. Our recommendation is to stick with the regular menu. 

We'll be back for one of your excellent sandwiches, but not for hot dogs. 

Parkersburg HDJ Review - The Root Beer Shack

Who doesn't love frozen root beer? After the last A&W in Charleston closed in the early 80's there was no other root beer place around that offered this frozen goodness. We'd pass by Huntington's Frostop Root Beer and see the giant mug on top of the restaurant with its representation of a head of frozen root beer, but it was only a cruel joke: Frostop has no frost on top. Nor does Stewarts. Nor does Farley's. It seemed that frozen root beer had become just another reason to long for the good ol' days. 

So when we saw some chatter on a recent WV Hot Dogs Facebook post by a hot dog enthusiast from Parkersburg about the hot dogs at The Root Beer Shack, it piqued our interest.  We were thrilled when he mentioned that the root beer was "icy," hoping that meant that it was full of the wonderful icy sludge. But enough about root beer, for now; we're here for hot dogs, right?

Well, you're gonna have to wait on that. Because we sure did. Arriving (we thought) before the lunch rush would allow us to get in and out in short order, but before we even placed our order we were warned that there would be a 20-25 minute wait for food. OK, no worries because we didn't have anywhere else to be so we got our root beer and found a table to wait. (We noticed that many other patrons who came in after we were seated did not choose to wait. While we were there at least 12 people left after hearing about the long wait.)

We had to request mustard and onions as extras, because The Shack's "Slaw Dog" only comes standard with chili (except since this is the Ohio Valley it's called "sauce") and slaw. We were asked to choose between "spicy" and "sweet" sauce, so we got one of each. 

After the expected delay, our hot dogs arrived at our table and we immediately noticed that they were prepared on New England Style buns (and for the umpteenth time, there is no such thing as an "English" bun!) that had been buttered and toasted. The slaw looked decent if a little coarse (although the presence of carrots will offend some purists), but the flavor was a little odd. Like maybe it was a bit past its "best by" date. The spicy chili was a little spicy, but nothing like Fairmont spicy. The sweet stuff was bland. 

Overall the hot dogs weren't very good. Filling, yes, mostly because of the voluminous bun, but not deserving of more than a 2 Weenie rating. 

The consolation prize was that we did get to wash them down with some really good root beer with a frozen icy head, just as we hoped we would find. 

Charleston HDJ Review - Bogey's

We finally made it to Bogey's at Capitol Market to try their WV Hot Dog. 

Billed as "Award Winning" because some amateur hot dog influencers made a video a while back that concluded that Bogey's original location in Tornado had West Virginia's Best Hot Dog. Seems like every time we tried to get to the original location it was closed, but their new place has more predictable hours.

Bottom line is that it's absolutely NOT the best hot dog in WV, heck, not even in the best in downtown Charleston, but it is pretty, pretty, pretty good. We'd have added a fourth "pretty" except that the bun was stiff, having obviously been dry-heated instead of steamed. Even after traveling a few miles in the paper coffin it was still pretty crunchy on the outside. 

Bogey's WV Hot Dog

The slaw is a bit too coarse, but still very creamy and it tasted great. The chili was really very good. Very finely ground meat and terrific flavors. We say "flavors" because it was quite complex, with some sweet, some tangy and some savory notes. It paired perfectly with the slaw. 

We're going to give Bogey's a 4 Weenie rank because of the overall quality of the hot dog. A fine example of a "Genteel Dog," presented with care but missing the mark on flavor and textures by >this< much.

The Great Kanawha Valley Hot Dog Joint Tour of 2023

The Secret Ballot Form

Last week Stanton and three other hot dog enthusiasts decided to sample hot dogs from six different HDJs in one long lunch hour. Beginning in Nitro and ending in Marmet, they selected the six from a long list of potential targets, basing their selections on both quality and convenience: all HDJs had to have achieve at least a 4 Weenie score on their last review, and they had to be places you could be sure to get in and out quickly, because time is money. To make the trip go quicker, orders where placed to go and judged in the car. Not the most comfortable dining spot, but it proved efficient.  

Please note: No claim is being made that these six are the best in the Valley, but it was felt that they offered a good representation of the variations that exist in the Kanawha Valley hot dog culture, so spare us your flaming comments.

At each HDJ, two hot dogs were ordered with chili, slaw, mustard and onions. Each of the four reviewers were given a half to judge. They were asked to score on our official Weenie Scale, using a private ballot form as to ensure their review was not influenced by the others. At the end of the trip, scores were to be tallied and the six HDJs would be ranked. Reviewers were also instructed to take notes to be used as tie-breaking criteria. 

Nitro Dairy Queen

Nitro DQ

The tour began at the Nitro Dairy Queen, which is a locally owned "Treat" franchise that -- unlike "Chill & Grill" locations -- is not beholden to DQ Corporate on how to make its hot dogs which means that "everything" means chili, slaw, mustard and onions, just like God intended hot dogs to be dressed. Arriving at their opening time of 11:00, our reviewers were treated with a delicious Utilitarian Dog with perfect-looking slaw sitting atop equally perfect looking chili. Wrapped in wax paper, the hot dog had nicely steamed itself and was soft and warm. Three people said the hot dog seemed small, but everyone agreed that it was well-executed and tasty. 

Bammy's Chili Dogs

Bammy's

Jumping over the bridge to St. Albans, the tour continued with a stop at Bammy's Chili Dogs. When the cashier heard the order placed as "two hot dogs with chili, slaw, mustard and onions" she read it back as "two West Virginia Hot Dogs" which on this blog is worthy of extra consideration and should have scored Bammy's an extra point or two in their scoring. Turns out, they would need the extra points because our reviewers didn't like the too-large onion pieces and said the chili's taste was, in the words of one reviewer, "a little off." Kudos, though, for wrapping the hot dogs in both aluminum foil and wax paper to maintain their freshness. 

Next stop was supposed to be Hot Diggity Dogs in North Charleston, but as luck would have it, they picked this week to close for vacation, something our team didn't know until they drove up to the front door.  Faced with this dilemma, the team had to improvise quickly and choose an alternate HDJ, preferably one that wasn't far away.  After a brief conference they decided to visit the most recently reviewed HDJ on the blog, Dancing Dog Ice Cream on Charleston's West Side. Wimpy the Weenie Wonk had given this place a 4.5 Weenie score just last month so, it seemed promising.

Dancing Dog Ice Cream

Dancing Dog Ice Cream

At Dancing Dog in Elk City, our reviewers found it easier to get out of the car and do their judging inside, where they were greeted by a friendly staff and the only grilled bun of the day. The bun was grilled on top and bottom, but the sides were still soft and supple. The bun also held the snappiest weenie they found at any of the six HDJs. Reviewers mostly liked the chili and slaw combination and overall seemed impressed by the quality of the entire hot dog. One reviewer didn't care for the grilled bun, and another thought it made the hot dog better. If presentation mattered in the scoring, DD would have gotten some extra points, as it would have for friendly service. 

Super Weenie

Super Weenie

A quick trip across town found our group at Super Weenie on Quarrier Street. Here they only had to order a "West Virginia Hot Dog" because the well-trained staff knows what that means, and it is posted on a sign that lists several optional ways to get your WV Dog, including a "Polite WV Dog" which comes with no onions. We've always found that Super Weenie lives up to its motto "We're Serious About These Hot Dogs" but on this day the reviewers were a tad disappointed in the taste and texture of the weenie, and one felt the chili was too spicy. 

Of course there are several other options for good hot dogs in downtown Charleston, but time was short so the group headed across the bridge and up McCorkle Avenue to Kanawha City. 

The Pepperoni Grill 

Pepperoni Grill

When the team arrived at the Pepperoni Grill, they were thankful to have a covered picnic table where they could escape the car's lackluster dining ambiance while they waited on their order. Once it arrived they quickly noticed and remarked on the generous amounts of toppings piled high on the hot dogs. This had also been the slowest order of the day, and after one bite they understood that the delay was due to a well-grilled weenie that was still piping hot. Three out of four appreciated the extra effort and felt the grilling treatment made the weenie delectable. One reviewer found the chili and slaw to be too sweet, and one thought it was "too bready," but the overall consensus was that the hot dogs were filling and satisfying. 

Chum's Hot Dogs

Chum's

Last stop of the tour was Chum's Hot Dogs in Marmet, the home of the yellow slaw. It might have been a little apples-and-oranges to include Chum's because when you're having yellow slaw it's recommended to leave the mustard off of your standard order, so they did. Also, being the last stop of the day with the remnants of five other hot dogs in your belly, it might be hard to judge fairly due to "Hot Dog Fatigue." Nevertheless, our team bravely faced the unique yellow slaw variation with as much objectivity as it could muster. Only one reviewer felt Chum's was up to snuff, with the others having complaints "too vinegary" or "a cheese-like flavor." One was disappointed because of his fond memories of yellow slaw at a HDJ of yesteryear that Chum's didn't measure up to. 

Results

At the end of the tour, here's how these six ranked on this day:

1. Nitro Dairy Queen - Simply a great West Virginia Hot Dog.

2. Pepperoni Grill - Delicious and satisfying but the chili is a little too sweet.

3. Tie - Super Weenie & Dancing Dog Ice Cream - Our team couldn't break the tie, finding both of these HDJs a perfectly adequate for a lunchtime hot dog with nothing negative to say about either. 

5. Bammy's Chili Dogs - When four hot dog experts agree that the chili was a little off, it's probably a little off. 

6. Chum's - Unique doesn't mean it's better, just different. Too different from the others on this day.