Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Barkersville HDJ Review - Lil' Pups Hot Dogs

I've always been fascinated by the popularity of White Castle Hamburgers. For those of you not savvy, White Castles are little hamburgers that people up north buy by the bag full when they are drunk. In my humble opinion you have to be drunk to eat them because they taste disgusting, and therein lies the fascination for me: I know people who eat them when they are sober and profess to think they are the best thing in the world. There is no adequate explanation for this. I'll just leave it as one of the unsolved mysteries of the universe.

I hadn't thought of White Castles in a long time, but when I ran across Lil' Pups Hot Dogs in Barkersville it all came back to me.

Lil's Pups sits right alongside Surveyor Drive in downtown Barkersville. I was intrigued by the sign that promised 4 hot dogs for a dollar, and a dozen for $2! How could I not stop and check it out? You're right, I couldn't!

I immediately discovered two things about Lil' Pups: They sell tiny hot dogs and the hot dogs they sell are not WVHDs at all (which is surprising since Barkersville is the quintessential southern West Virginia small town). "Everything" on a Lil' Pups hot dog includes mustard and ketchup. And the weenie on a Lil' Pup hot dog is basically a cocktail weenie without the yummy BBQ sauce that is typically served on these little hors d'oeuvres. Of course I could not bring myself to order ketchup on any hot dog, even a micro-dog, and so I got mine with just mustard. There really wasn't much room for anything else in the little bun anyway. Hard to complain about value, though, as two dogs, chips and a couple of pickle slices only rang in at 75 cents.

Of course a hot dog this size is a one-bite affair, and since I only got two I could barely even tell what they tasted like. I noticed, though, that other customers were getting them by the dozen and so I asked some of them what they thought (I immediately noticed that most of the clientèle were large, burly men who looked like they were not too discriminating about what went into their stomachs as long as it was voluminous). Most of the answers to my questions about why they liked Lil' Pups had their reasons based in quantitative terms, not qualitative. And most of Lil' Pups' customers probably would not understand that last sentence.

Large quantities of beer would no doubt help make Lil' Pups more palatable, and like White Castles I'm sure you could get used to the taste to the point it would grow on you and you might even begin to like them when sober. I decided quickly that I don't want to get that familiar with these hot dogs, regardless of how cheap they are.

Since Lil' Pups had neither chili or slaw they don't get a weenie rating, but if they did it would probably be a very low number: Maybe a 1.

As in April 1.


clear eyes said...

Nice Photoshopping. I was suspect the whole way through the review, but you did a good job of making it almost believable (the key to a great April Fool).

The Film Geek said...

I'll take a dozen!

Between 12 or so of these and the Pronto Pups at Camden Park, I could make me a nice meal.

Christopher Scott Jones said...

They wouldn't be too bad if the weenies were steamed on the onios, just like sliders.

Oh, and my high school was rivals with the Barkersville High School Red Rockets. They stunk at everything, not just hot dogs.

larryosaurus said...

The whole time I was reading I was thinking, "This is freakin' stupid, who would make/buy these?"

So you got me....Again!

Scarlet Tanager said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scarlet Tanager said...

I totally fell for this. Way to go, Stanton.

ElizabethJane said...

WV Hotdogs are the Best! Raised on these little Dogs! The dairy Queen was the old stand by.. But in Elkview WV iot was LAPP's GOODIE Shop that had the best! Everything included Mustard chili onions and SLAW! Steamed bun, small onions and sweet slaw I live in DC now and NO ONE makes a better dog than a Hillbilly! My mother actually visited me last summer and sent the Hotdog back at a local VA resturant and said that is NO WV Hotdog! I died from shame LOL but knew she was right! God Bless her! It really is all about the SLAW!